no coda

Around hour two, the question obsoletes itself: "do I pass," "am I attractive" creaks, subsides, then buckles in becoming "is this fashionable," "what precisely am I signifying, what is within my ability to signify?"

Is this line useful? The moment is smaller than its frame, and She is not what it is. From trans woman to normal woman is a lateral move.

Grow up? Sure:
[excerpt; from para. 2½]

in officina divina: vigil

I think that when I
   die they'll put me in the ground and they'll
   know about me all made of fleshsecondhand

all drenched in neurotransmitter thirdhand joy
   serotonin, ADP, GABA, dopamine where it yet

   as in life won't know what to do with itself.
if they were the Desert Fathers then I must be

   the Desert Mother

and when I die they'll put me in the ground and
   I'll stay there, and something knows how I
   am, there

and some
   aaaa a nd some thing

   knows who She Is and where did She Go and
what it isn't will tell me, not my problem.

left behind, but we'll be ok where we go,
   you'll be ok, promise, ok where you are,
   promise, promise;

as if that would stop her.
   oh man

AOL Instant Hermitage

two thousand three

boy in a room at 3
am, three sets  of
blinds  shut tight.

big dullgreen glow
abt egg blue plain
pulsing, (after El

liott, after Alice)
15750 whine silent.
lonely  place, sub

urban  elsewhere:
God is here. girl
in a   room
girl        three,
in quiet.

the poet in three subjects

[incomplete; from line 1]

\ //

   with love, from Jacqueline Silvain, inscribed:
                 (& heap up mine arms that I swung

—> a woman of no fortune, and with a name to come.